| it's been a while .. hasn't it. |
[02/18/08 @ 11:11pm] |
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i haven't wrote in here in a long ass time.
i feel it's time to dust this beast off and give it a lil go.
to sum up things ..
my life = never ending free fall to hell.
*insert cartoon sound effect of a large object falling and crashing to the ground*
the only thing that is good right now is i'm slowly getting my act together and paying bills and plucking weeds outta my garden (i mean "so called friends" outta my life) i'm doing pretty good . i'm doing things that i never would of thought i'd do in a million years. why am i doing this you ask.
well because .. .
i met this amazing guy and he makes me wanna better myself.
random thought:
i'm really sick of bouncing around in life.
for once i wanna be grounded.
i wanna feel like i have something.
i wanna feel like some body has me.
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[06/14/07 @ 6:44pm] |
it's been a while
thought i'd update my life a lil .
mike and i broke up for good.
matt and i are talking
got a car
more hours at work.
lost some weight, working out atleast once a day for a good 45 mins.
jay and i are best friends again
i miss alot of people right now.
um.. thats about it.
good day.
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[03/27/07 @ 1:33pm] |
i hate bening sick.
it's retarded.
the past couple days i've been in bed before 2 and i've been waking up at 9 and just laying in my bed.
today i went to bed at 3 and woke up at 11.
last night was an ok night.
i slept most of the day but when i wasn't sleeping mike took me to the mall.
i spent all of my money . i think i have about 30 bucks left.
i went to southland, fairlane , oldnavy and cvs.
we ended up going to the outback and eating an ok dinner (which i payed for for once)
we went to dq after ( i payed for that as well) i also payed for him to get shit for his lunch so you see i wasn't that jewish with my money this time.
we saw 300. it was an amazing movie but i thought it was gonna be something different.
when we were there i saw a couple posters for some movies. #1 aqua teen has a movie coming out. #2 28 weeks later? omg no i'm done with that shit 28 days was enough for me. i swear if i see another nigger on a chain i'm gonna cry. that shit is so scary. #3 HARRY POTTER! (yesh) i know i'm a dork. and i think that was about it.
um.. yeah.. i need to see those.
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[03/13/07 @ 3:43pm] |
i'm never doing anything for anyone ever again.
megan is the only true friend i have.
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[03/12/07 @ 7:58pm] |
I woke up today
To find myself in the other place
With a trail of my footprints
From where I ran away
It seems everything I've heard
Just might be true
And you know me
(well you think you do)
sometimes I have everything
yet I wish I felt something
do you know how far this has gone
just how damaged have I become
when I think I can overcome
it runs even deeper
and in a dream I'm a different me
with a perfect you
we fit perfectly
and for once in my life I feel complete
and I still want to ruin it
afraid to look
as clear as day
this plan has long been underway
I hear them call
I cannot stay
The voice inviting me away
do you know how far this has gone
just how damaged have I become
when I think I can overcome
it runs even deeper
everything that matters is gone
and the hands of hope have withdrawn
could you try to help me hang on
it runs
I'm straight
I won't crack
On my way
And I can't turn back
I'm okay
I'm on track
On my way
And I can't turn back
I stayed
On this track
Gone too far
And I can't come back
I stayed
On this track
Lost my way
Can't come back
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[02/09/07 @ 5:48pm] |
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"my lazy eye is fixed on you"
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[02/09/07 @ 7:22am] |
another night/morning with out sleep.
goddamnit.
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[02/08/07 @ 3:27am] |
omg please.. make all these old friends go away.
i'm sick of having random memories surface and having old horrid flash backs.
ekkkk!
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[02/05/07 @ 6:07am] |
Your flesh...it finds me out Teases the crack in me Smittens me with hope
Possibly maybe, possibly maybe, possibly maybe. As much as I definitely enjoy solitude
I wouldn't mind perhaps Spending little time with you Sometimes, sometimes
Possibly maybe probably love,Possibly maybe probably love Uncertainty excites me
Baby Who knows what's going to happen? Lottery or car crash Or you'll join a cult
Probably maybe, possibly love Probably maybe, possibly love possibly Mon petit vulcan
You're eruptions and disasters I keep calm Admiring your lava I keep calm Possibly maybe probably love Possibly maybe probably love Electric shocks I love them With you dozen a day But after a while I wonder Where's that love you promised me? Where is it?
Possibly maybe probably love Possibly maybe probably love How can you offer me love like that? My heart's burned How can you offer me love like that? I'm exhausted
Leave me alone
Possibly maybe, possibly maybe, possibly maybe. Since we broke up I'm using lipstick again I suck my tongue In remembrance of you Possibly maybe, possibly maybe Possibly maybe, possibly maybe Possibly maybe, possibly maybe
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| i miss you.. |
[02/05/07 @ 5:55am] |
it's 6 am.
my eyes are burning and i have heartburn.
i can not sleep.
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[02/02/07 @ 4:11pm] |
tonight is gonna be so fucked.
ah! i can't wait!
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[01/31/07 @ 5:39am] |
So impressed with all you do Tried so hard to be like you Flew too high and burnt the wing
Lost my faith in everything Lick around devine debris Taste the wealth of hate in me
Shedding skin succumb defeat This machine is obsolete Made the choice to go away Drink the fountain of decay Tear a hole exquisite red Fuck the rest and stab it dead Broken bruised forgotten sore Too fucked up to care any more Poisoned to my rotten core Too fucked up to care any more In the back off the side far away is a place where i hide where i stay tried to say
tried to ask i needed to all alone by myself where were you?
how could i ever think it's funny how everything that swore it wouldn't change
is different now just like you would always say we'd make it through then my head
fell apart and where were you?
how could i ever think it's funny how everything you swore would never change is different nowlike you said you and me make it through didn't quite fell apart
where the fuck were you?
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[01/29/07 @ 11:42pm] |
i got new ink today. this is # 5 and i love it to death.
yes i know i'm a lil obessed with nin but oh well.
( for those of you that don't know what my tattoo is it's the nin logo for the cd "sin", yes, it says "sin")
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[01/23/07 @ 3:29am] |
shit..
i need help.
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[01/13/07 @ 3:30pm] |
omg too much shit going on in my damn life right now.
someone just shooooooooot me!
ps. i miss brandon. :/
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[01/04/07 @ 7:24pm] |
i love target.
today i got a new camera for only 150.
it's an olympus, 7.5 mega px.
with that thing where you can take picture when your moving.
and it came with photo shop.
it's a video camera too.
it's weather proof / shock proof and all that good shit.
it's pretty cool.
i haven't tryed it out yet because the battery needs to be charged soooo we will see how it works when that happens.
it's soo thin and tiny compaired to my other one.
i had to get a rain check for the lil memo stick but it's cool.
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[12/27/06 @ 2:11am] |
And as I pull my head out I am without one doubt
Don't wanna be down here feeding my narcissism.
I must crucify the ego before it's far too late
I pray the light lifts me out
Before I pine away.
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| i got payed nigggga! |
[12/22/06 @ 3:07am] |
i love money.
i hate working.
i hate the holidays
and i love spending money.
that is all.
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[12/20/06 @ 2:28am] |
so megan called me today
she got a turtle.
i named him count takko gibson
andy also told me what megan got for x-mas we started talking about that and about his tattooing . lil did i know he put megan back on speaker fone. .. i started to talk about her x-mas present again.. WOW i ruined her x-mas .. well it wasn't my fault i didn't know she could hear me for one and two i just asked him something about the look of it so she didn't know really what i was talking about but still she knows now.
i'm fucking sickly depressed now.
i'm jealous.
i want a x-mas present like that.
but i guess that wont happen till i'm old and wrinkled and can't walk.
yay go me.
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